Your Horoscope For Today

[Metzy the Mesprit]

*hovers in front of you* I am Metzy the Mesprit! All-knowing and powerful and sexy! I have the ability to read your horoscope for the day, since I am psychic and sexy and altogether wonderful! Step right up and give your respects, then prepare to hear your horoscope! Oh, and one more thing:

You may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

So, now that that's cleared up, who's up first? Just leave your message here and ask very nicely, or in some way, if you may have your horoscope read to you!

(Note: Please don't take these too seriously...much)

[Shadowfang]

(heh you listened to Weird Al's song din'cha? XD)

can I please have my Horoscope read? I know I'm Saggitarius but thats it

[Rain]

((Ha gotta love weird Al))

Sure I'd like my horoscope, please. I'm a Libra if that helps

[Zephyrnereus]

would you be kind enough to read my horoscope? I'm born Aries. :3 (though I feel that I am more of a Pisces. I was born march 22)

[Jacob_the_espeon]

I'm Vergo 83

[Josh the Meowth]

Oh, might I please have my own horoscope read, my wonderful Mesprit? I am Capricorn, but that doesn't really matter, I'm guessing.

[Kyrie the Aipom]

*moons Metzy with her butt* Can you tell my horoscope from seeing the full moon?

[Metzy the Mesprit]

(heh you listened to Weird Al's song din'cha? XD)

Can I please have my Horoscope read? I know I'm Sagittarius, but that's it

(That's for me to know, and you to think about)

Shadowfang the Vaporsian, the alignment of the stars informs me that you'll wake up tomorrow morning with a Caterpie on your head, who demands you sing a country song for him or else he'll stuff you into a sofa mattress. An Espeon will bring you flowers that smells like butter as a meteor crashes down near your clan and Deoxys pops out and asks for directions to the nearest gas station. Good fortune will come when you find a tasty Houndour on your trip to the lake, and that night will bring you good news when you manage to dig up a bone that oddly resembles a Slowpoke.

[Shadowfang]

(thanks Metzy *wanders off thinking about my Horoscope* well it's better'n the one Weird Al gave me...I don't have friends laughing behind my back)

[Metzy the Mesprit]

((Ha gotta love weird Al))

Sure I'd like my horoscope, please. I'm a Libra if that helps

Lucian the Lucario, it's said that Libras are smart and talented people, but I'm afraid that this doesn't apply to you. Your overconfidence will come back to haunt you when you attempt to take over a human town and you get captured by a human boy with down syndrome. However, you'll use your Substitute and your aura to escape, only to find a human clown who asks you for boxing lessons. Try to avoid going near trees, because each one is out to get you and will attempt to eat you with their tree sap. That night, go to sleep on your head while listening to rock & roll music and using a dictionary as your pillow.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

would you be kind enough to read my horoscope? I'm born Aries. :3 (though I feel that I am more of a Pisces. I was born march 22)

Zephyrnereus the Latios, there's big money in your near future when you decide to open up that illegal pot-selling ring. Sadly, since a certain Lucario won't like the small pot that you sold to him for his flowers, you will be sent to a jail, where a familiar Octillery asks you for a hug. Giving him a hug is iffy, but if you do, you will gain a new friend and will feel a lot better about yourself, you loser. During that same night, try to avoid doing grabbing jail guards and shoving them down your throat; it'll cause you to choke and wake your cellmate. Therefore, use your ass instead. In the distant future beyond that, ignore any cat-like or fox-like Pokemon that ask you for money, but look into investing some dough into a bakery.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

I'm Vergo 83

Jacob the Espeon, all Virgos are extremely cute and wise, except for you. To work on your low self-esteem, try to run around naked where there are girls present. It won't put you in their high regards, but it will make you feel oddly better about yourself. The position of Mars suggests that you will grow an inch taller over night, and you will want to eat some kind of rock creature. Look for happiness to come when your evil twin visits you, but then farts on your face for not sending a postcard. For the night, maybe it would be best for you to bury a hole in the ground and stay there, because an Onyx will be pissed off at you for attempting to eat his Geodude brother.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

Oh, might I please have my own horoscope read, my wonderful Mesprit? I am Capricorn, but that doesn't really matter, I'm guessing.

Josh the Meowth, you should try to avoid any type of boy, since they will all be after your Sonic the hedgehog comic book collection. Maybe you should try laying face-down in a pile of hot rags, since the steam would help your complexion. Your love life will soar when you find yourself growing your fangs longer, so try asking out Galen, Shadowfang or Violet. Eating a bathtub full of Pikachu-flavored ice cream will make you feel like dancing, so do the tango with a Glameow, who happened to be watching you from a distance anyway. At night, suck on your tail while holding one hand to your butt, because this will work out this aching muscles in the lower part of your body.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

*moons Metzy with her butt* Can you tell my horoscope from seeing the full moon?

Kyrie the Aipom, everyone is out to get you, so it might be smart to just leave town and never, never, never, never show your face again. However, this won't work, as you will be shoved up the asses of over a 100 different Pokemon over the next month. Try to control your overused flatulence, or else you will attract a heard of flies that will drip saliva all over your body. Try to only eat cabbages and carrots, because everything else has been contracted with the Psyduck Virus, which makes everyone act like a retard. The position of Mercury says that you have a secret admirer, but after much thought, they just want to shove you up their ass instead of making out with you.

[Jacob_the_espeon]

ok? I think that made sence X3

[AaronScales]

Hehe, this seems fun, I'd like a horoscope. I'm a cancer ^^

[zearo]

Sounds intresting I'm game :3

[Charstar Max]

You have my attention as well. I'm a Sagittarius, in case you need to know.

[Leraxia]

*sighs* Oh, flame breath, why not? *shrugs wings*

I'm willing to hear it if you want to tell. I'm a Libra. *coils and awaits my reading*

[Mew]

I'd like one, yay, topics first Leo ^_^

Oh, and *Flies down and sucks Kyrie up my butt* Thought I'd get one out of the way for you, 99 to go

[Kyrie the Aipom]

I'd like one, yay, topics first Leo ^_^

Oh, and *Flies down and sucks Kyrie up my butt* Thought I'd get one out of the way for you, 99 to go

O_______O;;; H-HEY! *screams in anger and confusion as she's sucked up the pink butt* LET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW! >//////<;;;

[Metzy the Mesprit]

Hehe, this seems fun, I'd like a horoscope. I'm a cancer ^^

Aaron the Donphan, you will have the worst day of your life tomorrow when you wake up with a bag of money on your chest. Your day will continue when your annoying Espeon neighbor bothers you for a cup of molasses, and your pet Kecleon will swallow a tree trunk and regurgitate it all over your face. Although it's not a good idea, you will probably flatten your neighbor with your giant butt, kick your Kecleon down a hill, and then go and blow all your new money on pictures of Lucian the Lucario. At the end of your day, you will be arrested for flattening your neighbor without a license, pet abuse, and robbing a bank, since the Sneasel thief who really stole that money planted it on you. It sure sucks to be you, but if you pull past this, then you will gain the love of a freakish Magmar later in life.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

Sounds interesting I'm game :3

Zearo the Feralitoise, there is good fortune coming your way when a car is suddenly parked in front of your house. Try to find some stupid humans and rob them blind, since the extra experience will pay off when you go perform your dancing lessons to your art director at your private school. Work a bit harder on improving your table manners, and try not to eat your next meal whole, as this is what you will want to do. The alignment of the moons of Saturn says that your are good-looking and sexy and should try hitting on females that are a lot smaller than you. At night, try to enjoy the spotlight as you cater to the whims of your master, whom is currently annoyed with you that the foot massage you gave him last night wasn't satisfactory and his face has a rash on it that you gave him because of your toe fungus.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

You have my attention as well. I'm a Sagittarius, in case you need to know.

Max the Charmander, your future is hazy, but seems to be giving off some good vibes. A pretty girl with some nice breasts will capture you shortly, but do not struggle, for if you endure this ordeal, it will help you gain more confidence that you desperately need. This girl will put on funky songs while rubbing her body all over you and asking you some questions about science and technology, since she's really a student enrolled in school. She will poke you with a fork several times, which you should immediately respond to by doing the hokey-pokey. When she finally dumps after you give her a pitiful excuse for why you burned her butt with your tail, let loose your steam by throwing some of your friends off a cliff and doing the hokey-pokey again.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

*sighs* Oh, flame breath, why not? *shrugs wings*

I'm willing to hear it if you want to tell. I'm a Libra. *coils and awaits my reading*

Leraxia the Xerian Dragon/Latios-Rayquaza, there is fame in your near future as you will rescue a little girl, who reveals to be the daughter of the richest family in the world. As you are asked to star in movies and video games, many fans ask you to eat them or sign their legs. During this time, try cutting down on your overconfidence, as this will damage your new-found career when you try to shove three Squirtle up your nose and fail. You will then be forced to pay your sexy doctor with mating rituals when she performs an unneeded appendectomy on your face to remove the water turtles. When things start dying down, look towards the stars, as they say that you will gain a new self-confidence that you have never felt before, although you will also get a boulder slammed down on your head by an angry Flygon, who was angry at you for not paying off your debt that you owned him when you had those tail massages.

[Metzy the Mesprit]

I'd like one, yay, topics first Leo ^_^

Oh, and *Flies down and sucks Kyrie up my butt* Thought I'd get one out of the way for you, 99 to go

Mew the...Mew, there is much naughtiness in your future when you decide to disguise your butt as an entrance to a fancy restaurant. As you suck up all the foolish guests, an officer will try to arrest you for illegal advertisement. Sucking the officer's Arcanine and Growlithe will cause indigestion, but you will gain the ability to fire Flamethrowers out your tail-hole. After the excitement and food, you will grow bored and decide to fart on an entire town until they begged for mercy. Try making new friends with some of your victims, as the results will be quite humorous. Soon, you will be the most wanted Pokemon in the world and will be hunted down by every living soul. Surviving this ordeal will not only net you some good income from the wallets you steal from the foolish human victims, but also a new milkshake with an odd aftertaste.

[Leraxia]

*sighs* Oh, flame breath, why not? *shrugs wings*

I'm willing to hear it if you want to tell. I'm a Libra. *coils and awaits my reading*

Leraxia the Xerian Dragon/Latios-Rayquaza, there is fame in your near future as you will rescue a little girl, who reveals to be the daughter of the richest family in the world. As you are asked to star in movies and video games, many fans ask you to eat them or sign their legs. During this time, try cutting down on your overconfidence, as this will damage your new-found career when you try to shove three Squirtle up your nose and fail. You will then be forced to pay your sexy doctor with mating rituals when she performs an unneeded appendectomy on your face to remove the water turtles. When things start dying down, look towards the stars, as they say that you will gain a new self-confidence that you have never felt before, although you will also get a boulder slammed down on your head by an angry Flygon, who was angry at you for not paying off your debt that you owned him when you had those tail massages.

....okkaayyyy...that's certainly was unexpected...