The Corrupted Wish

Ever the classic! For those of you that have never heard of this before, the rules are simple: the poster before you makes a wish, then you describe how it happens but is corrupted, then make your own wish. For example:

Wish: I wish I was a millionaire.
Corrupted: Your wish is granted. A programming error transfers a million dollars from Bill Gates's account to yours, but you are accused of Internet theft and a jury finds you guilty as charged. You'll be out with good behavior in ten years.

The rules are simple enough.
1) No paragraph-long wishes or wishing for "everything exactly how I want it."
2) If you corrupt a wish, you have to wish for something else.
3) Keep it in good humor please. No hardvore and whatnot.

Starting it off:
I wish for pie

wish granted: by a computing error you recive a home made pie free of charge. however when you bit in to the pie you become very sick and get to spend the next week and a half in the hospital

i wish for a Shecter Tempest custom

Granted, but the sound is horrible, and when you take it to tune it up, your fined since you didn't actually pay for it.

I wish that the pokemons were real!

wish granted: pokemon are real...and they are very hungery so you are the first course on a long meal

i wish i could literaly jump into a video game

Granted, but you can't get out. So the next time you hop into a videogame, your stuck, as a mere useless script. When a person decides to erase the file, your erased with it.

I wish I had a homework-doer

Granted but you new homework-doer does homework too well and as a result you are kicked out of school for cheating and plagerisim

i wish i could teleport in real life

granted but now you only teleport two feet from where you were standing, and anyone beside you is knocked out.

I wish pokemon were real

They are real, but soon dominate the earth.

I wish I was a canine.

Granted, your treated like shit, fed shit, and eventually die like shit. Shit never sounded so redundant in a sentence.

I wish my homework would magically finish!

(I hate hoomins)
it magically finished but then I ate it because I was treated like shit.

I wish humans never exsited

granted but now you don't exist because of a time paradox

i wish i was a real pokemon

You turn into a magicarp and are promptly bit into by a starly.

I wish I could phase through walls.

You can phase through walls but you get stuck in the middle of one.

I wish I would shrink down to 6 inches and be swallowed whole by a timber wolf!

wish granted, but he 'swallows' you with his cock!

I wish I was a female cat

Granted, a male chicken rapes you. (Cock and Pussy? )

I wish that I had a real Female Dragon -Egg-! That wouldn't fucking kill me when it hatched.

wish granted, but when it hatches it follows you EVERYWHERE and the government shows up to take it to Area 51.

I wish I was a pintu fish (a parasitic fish in the Amazon river)

granted but you get stuck in a guys penis for the rest of your life(if it is the one i think your talking about)

i wish i could fly

Shadowfang wrote:wish granted, but he 'swallows' you with his cock!

I wish I was a female cat

Cock? Even better! Wish granted. But the swat team shoots you down.

I wish I weilded the keyblade!

Lucian wrote:granted but you get stuck in a guys penis for the rest of your life(if it is the one i think your talking about)

i wish i could fly

(yep! Pintu fish is the critter mentioned in The Rundown)

Granted, but your 'wings' melt when you are too close to the sun!

@wolfboy: granted, but Organization 13 beats you down

I wish I was a dragon

You become a Dragon but a hoomin beats you down and kills you for no reason what so ever.

I wish that I never made a wish to wish for something.

You just destroyed the planet in a time paradox.

I wish I had £30

Wish granted, but you go to jail for stealing.

I wish Fur suits weren't so expensive!

granted but the cheap suits end up giving you a horrible rash

i wish i had a sony viao

Granted, but it has a defect which causes it to explode when you turn it on, burning off about half your face.

I wish I had a life

Granted but you end up spending it doing nothing but working

I wish i had a new car

Wish granted, but it's a Bugatti Veyron bought with money borrowed from the mafia. Your first payment is due tomorrow morning... $175,000, or your kneecaps.

I wish I could control Aura like a Lucario.

Granted but your looked at as a freak and a demon, and the government finds out and you are whisked away to be used in experiments and are never seen again

I wish i could play guitar awesomly

Wish granted, but every time you try to play a guitar, the strings break.

I wish I could draw well without having to practice.

*Edit* This reminds me of a movie I heard about from a friend a long while ago where a jin (not sure if that's spelled right) would grant people wishes, but they always came with horrible consequences. Is that what this is based on? I can't remember the name of the movie.

Wish granted but now you keep drawing horrible deaths of people around you that come true! (a Death Note as a graphic novel! XD)

I wish I was a female Vaporeon

Granted but now your used for nonstop breeding and are kept in a cage for the rest of you life to make more vaporeon (course im not sure if this intierly bad XD)

I wish I was a shinigami from bleach

Granted, but you get in a fight with Kenpachi Zaraki who beats you to within an inch of yer life!

I wish I was an Anthro Vaporsian with Rangiku-level huge tits!

Granted but your forced to work under Hitsugaya for the rest of your career

I wish I was powerfull as Byakuya without his attitude

granted but Rukia thinks your an asshat anyway

I wish Rangiku was real

Granted but she is swamped by fan boy's and girls and you never get to see here

I wish i could go to urahara's shop

granted, but you find out Urahara's an evil bastard who tricks you into working for him free of charge

I wish I could live in the Seireitei

Granted but you end up in Kenpachi's squad when your are much better with kido and healling

I wish I had a zanpaktou (i think i misspelled that XD)

(nah yah spelled it right! theres like three ways to spell it tho: Zanpakutou, Zanpakto or the way you spelled it)

Granted, but your Zanpaktou spirit makes it REALLY hard for you to earn it's respect.

I wish I got strong enough for Bankai (and hope Kenpachi don't find out)

Granted but he DOES find out and now ya have to fight him or leave the gotei 13

I wish my zanpaktou was like byakuya's

Granted, but then the dang thing rebels and leaves you.

I wish I beat Kenpachi so I ain't gotta leave the Gotei thirteen!

Granted but now your in charge of squad 13..so yeah good luck with that..

I wish that i was strong enough to hold on to my zanpaktou and make it to bankai!

Granted, but now Kenpachi wants to fight you to see who's better!

I wish I was in Yachiru's place!

Granted but now your such a spazz even Kenny is starting to get annoyed with you

I wish I was a captain in the gotei 13

Granted, but now everybody turns to you when the soul society is attacked by a much stronger espada (no idea how it's spelled) because all of the other captains are busy with other missions during the attack.

I wish I could use flash step.

Granted but you run into a wall from your inexperience and spend a couple of weeks in the Squad 4 hospital (yay another bleach fan^^)

I wish i could fire off ceros

granted but now if you don't obey Aizen, Tousen and Gin YOU ARE KILLED BY YOUR FELLOW ESPADA!

I wish Grimmjow Jaggerjacques was real

Granted, but then you get blown away while walking down the street during a fight between him and Ichigo.

I wish I could be a super saiyan with a zanpakuto.

granted, but you need to be destroyed because you are like Broly, too damn strong for your own good!

I wish the Death Note was real

Granted, but then you use it for writing down the names of everybody you need to do your holiday shopping for without knowing that it's a Death Note.

I wish I had a gundam.

granted, but it asplodes in your first fight

I wish Orochimaru was real

Granted but your are decimated by Itatchi and are sealed away for ever

I wish i had byakugan