Pokemon attacks brought to life.

Okay please don't be lazy and answer thoroughly.Don't just be like 'oh they would all kill us'.Explain how they would kill us.I am going to post my opinion about how they would feel but I will do it after you ;p .Okay the attacks are:
Thunderbolt
Gust
Sludge
Sludge bomb
Earthquake
Stone edge
rock slide
silver wind
shadow ball
Blast burn
Water pulse
Hydro cannon/pump
surf(how many meters would it be)
seed bomb
solar beam
sheer cold
ice beam
blizzard
dragon pulse
dark pulse
Aqua Jet
Frenzy Plant
Leaf storm
Magma storm

I hope you don't mind if we go over these a few at a time.

Thunderbolt (and Thundershock, they are identical apart from scale) is, well, a bolt of lightning shot from the attacker to the target. The electricity doesn't just stop when it enters you, however, the damage comes from your organs being burned by the high energy as it Travels through you (into the ground, one would assume.)

Gust (And Twister. They are the same apart from Type). Well, it's a large, buffeting whirlwind that's not strong enough to pick you up, but is strong enough to Really sting. Anything can hurt if it is moving fast enough, even the air itself.

Sludge and Sludge bomb (the difference is that Sludge Bomb starts off compacted together). Well, I would assume that it is weakly corrosive, so it would give you a burning pain when it touches you. Also, they are made out of waste material that the body has difficulty handling once it gets inside, thus the chance of poisoning. The compact form of sludge Bomb means that there is a bit more concussive force as it hits you, then splatters.

no I don't mind at all.You are really nice for trying to answer my questions.Nobody else cares :<
And wow you are really great!!How could you come up with these? But I think that Twister would be like a powerful whirlwind that would be able to at least lift,spin and knock you over.Gust would be quite powerful as well but it,except than 'stinging' you,would knock you over your feet and push you back.

Yeah, I suppose "too weak to pick you up" isn't quite right. It just can't carry you very far. And it sure could knock you off your feet.

Speaking of knocking you off your feet, that's one thing Earthquake can do. It's probably some kind of shockwave that can crack the ground and force it to vibrate up and down. So after you get knocked over, the ground punches you (for lack of a better word) until the attack ends.

Stone edge... honestly, I have trouble understanding it. My best guess is that it's like spikes of rock shooting up from the ground beneath you, causing impalement. The low acurracy... I suppose it's hard to target exactly for some reason, but I can't imagine why.

Rock Slide is obviously a lot of rocks or boulders being dropped on you and crushing you. The question is where the rocks come from. Is it a sudden meteor shower, or just Rock Throw used repeatedly? (probably the second choice)

Silver wind is different from the other wind based moves. To start with, I must explain that the "Silver" is actually powder from the user's wings (assuming we're talking about a butterfly-like pokemon. Where the powder comes from may be different depending on the user). It's also not a twister, but a straight blast of air. As for why it's as powerful as it is, or why it can occasionally make the user stronger, tougher, and faster... that I can't explain.

Shadow ball is made of concentrated ectoplasm and/or spiritual energy. It probably hits the target's soul directly on the spiritual plane, and can weaken it temporarily (Thus the Special Defence loss). Quite nasty when you think about it.

This thread is essentially "What moves would hurt humans, and how." The 'What pokemon attacks would be completely harmless' thread is essentially "What moves would NOT hurt humans."

There is really no good reason they can't be combined into one thread; "Which moves could or couldn't hurt humans?" Locking these ones; you can make a new, merged thread if you want.

Also... you really, really don't need a huge list of moves or species at the top of these threads. Most users here are Pokemon fanatics, and can come up with plenty of examples without you giving them a relatively tiny pool of attacks to describe.